It’s time for change. I have to change.

  • August 16, 2017

I stepped on the scale this morning. I am pretty much in the worst shape of my life – well other than that decade of cocaine-addicted malnourished under-weight on the brink of death thing.

Now don’t get me wrong, it isn’t the number on the scale that concerns me, it is just confirmation of what I have been feeling all year. 176.5lbs and 38.3% body fat. I may e 5’8″ but even I am having a hard time feeling great in these new dimensions of mine. I lack energy. I feel physically tired and weak. I run out of breath doing things I used to be able to do with ease. My skin has gone crappy with my rosacea taking over, my back hurts, my muscles ache, I have even started wearing glasses again. Ok, my weak eye muscles are probably more related to my upcoming 43rd birthday, but it is just one more thing that makes me ready for a change.

I have 3 kids still at home, including a very energetic 3 and 5 year old and a pre-teen daughter with boundless energy. I’d like to spend more time playing with them and less time sitting. I have a very handsome husband that I would love to have more sex with (yes it is true) but the honest truth is… I am tired. Work is exhausting. Not physically but mentally so by the time I get home, in the shape I am, my body just wants to give up. The couch looks better than the treadmill. A movie or a book looks better than playtime – child or adult. I know that exercise breeds energy, but it’s to get started and stay started that I find hard.

I think the hardest thing for me is that I motivate others for a living. I know all the answers. If I was my client, I know what I would say to combat every excuse that I throw at me. I do, I KNOW it, I am just having a bitch of a time DOING it. I need someone to motivate the motivator.

Does any of this sound familiar? If so, than I need you. I do. I need help. I need accountability. I need to know someone is watching. It is so easy to break promises to ourselves but to let others down? That’s hard and I would bend the heavens and earth before doing it. Hence #RealLifestyle – a forum for change, motivation, sharing – a completely selfish move on my part. I created it for me, to motivate myself, to energize myself to create small but sustainable changes in my life and the life of my family with #justonething every day to live a healthier life. I know that if you are watching me, if someone is looking at me and thinking just maybe that they can do #justonething too – then I will keep it up. That’s how my brain works, that’s how I am wired and if you are still reading this – THANK YOU. Thank you for helping to inspire me, motivate me and maybe, if you feel the same, I can do for you what you are doing for me. Win-win. Together we can create a #RealLifestyle for ourselves, our families, our communities, with #justonething.

I plan on sharing pictures, before and after, bt I haven’t quite worked my way to that level of confidence yet, but every day I am getting better. That is my goal for this week. A before picture so I can take a real look at myself, my body and see what I need and want to change. It’s not about looking like a model, that ship has sailed, but it’s about loving me. Loving my body, looking in the mirror and being happy with the reflection. Walking into a room and feeling great about myself, my appearance, and having a happy healthy glow that radiates from within. I used to have it. I don’t anymore. What I see in the mirror, I am not happy with, I don’t like what this 43 year old mother of 4 is becoming and if I don’t do something now, it will only be that much harder if not impossible as more years go by and more bad habits become routine.

I drink too much. I am lazy. I eat crap. I make excuses to do all 3.

That’s it. It’s not baby fat, hormones, heredity, age – it’s me and my behavior.

I know what I need to do – I just need a little help to get there. Will you come with me?

~ Michelle

Subscribe

Subscribe and get notified about our best videos each and every week.

Subscribe

Subscribe and get notified about our best videos each and every week.

Meet Michelle

Find out more about Michelle Budiwski and how she keeps it real on her podcast.

Become a contributor

Do you see interesting events in your area that need to be covered? Maybe you'd like to become a contributor yourself? Let us know!