We just recently recorded our first ‘Cocktails & Cupcakes’ podcast. It was a great conversation and I was honored to be sitting with such strong business women. As of this writing, the first episode hasn’t yet aired but one of the discussion points hit very close to home with me and has been on my mind ever since.
We are a judgemental species. If you said to me that you never judge anyone, I would call you a liar. We do. We all do. It is part of the human condition. Judging others is how we decide who we are attracted to, who we are friends with. We decided our own safety by the feelings we get and the judgements we make about the guy across the dark parking lot. We even choose what businesses to deal with based on logos, websites, appearances of sales staff… the list can go on and on.
It is really easy to criticize someone for being judgemental – and judgements can go to extremes – think any of the ‘isms’. Should we judge by color, ethnicity, race, religion…. no. Do we? As a species, yes.
So if we are all judgemental creatures – what is the big deal right?
Well just because we think and react by our personal judgements, doesn’t mean we need to voice them – and that is what sets people apart from animals. We can control our instincts and impulses, or at least we should be able to.
Not wanting to deal with a lawyer who is covered in tattoos because you don’t feel she can adequately represent or relate to you is one thing. Telling her that’s why you hired someone else – while being honest, is just mean and a very crappy thing to do. As humans, we should have more tact and compassion than that. Unfortunately too many don’t – especially when hiding behind a keyboard or among friends – think high school girls talking about each other with that rabid pack mentality. Or even worse, grown women. Talking about other grown women.
You’ve probably seen it. Probably done it. Probably been the victim of it.
What’s the solution?
Well it isn’t as simple as saying ‘You shouldn’t judge people.’
Because that will never happen.
Next time you see the judgemental gossip, mom-shaming, slut-shaming, whatever – how about just saying…
‘You have every right to think anything you want but saying it makes you small. You’re better than that. Keep your judgements to yourself.’